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| Joined: | Mon Nov 21st, 2005 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 6399 |
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"But Joe, what do you like?"
I like this:
If from cradle to grave, a person like Ben Bernanke, a typical welfare mama, or papa (who knows these days, but typical welfare baby anyway) draining the productive capacity of those who actually produce, does not pay taxes…Ben baby does not pay taxes…then the poster boy of welfare -- Ben baby -- is on the receiving end of the extortion racket: so they don't pay taxes, but do they vote?
A big problem I have is inconsistency in my own state of mind (or body, or both) when reading small sections of the book. Now that I see the second incident of using those double dashes it looks consistent, or better, or more user friendly, or more effective at transferring the message intact.
I like that sentence that way.
I also read another sentence that struck me as a very good improvement. I'll find it:
I think that the most important power required, stored in your mind, is knowing that a fork in the road may arrive too soon and that the right way has to be taken because the wrong way is too costly. By that I mean that a person can become their own worst enemy if they are not prepared mentally for very challenging situations where doing the wrong thing may appear to be an easy way out, including doing nothing.
I really like the use of the "By that I mean..." beginning of a new sentence, which replaces my overuse of and, and, and, and, so that the message is now very rich with ideas, such as the strength of competitive explanation (looking at one thing from many angles) instead of merely repeating the same thing.
"I think it was just the feeling I had with the information, punctuation has some rules but also it has some wiggle room. And lots of wiggle room if you prefer"
Explanations for future use (assuming I can remember) are one thing, but the other question I had is now answered, your improvements, including the double dashes, aid the accurate message flow. Please keep your improvements already done, and if you have any new ideas please don't hesitate to try them out.
"because I wanting a distinct and very pronounced call-out of "INSTEAD OF ALL THAT ACTUAL, MEASURABLE, DESTRUCTION."
I didn't use () because to me information inside () seems more incidental to the meaning of the paragraph. Kinda like sub-information. When I use ... I am kinda thinking more like a long pause linking information together. Kinda like a quick daydream. Not exactly a daydream, I don't know what words to use. So -- to me is like : except that the information being highlighted is enclosed between the set of dashes -- info -- . (hitting reply now so I don't lose this but am going to open back up and continue.)"
That is the work of an artist, in my view, and it is inspiring for me to hear how you have such an intense interest in the things that you do, so I'm wondering now how well the food is growing in the garden. Do you shop for seeds that are not genetically modified? Is it odd to even ask such a question?
So, it looks to me like it is something that I recently started doing. It also looks like I am doing that in some places because the sentences are extra long and it helps with readability.
Just let me know what you prefer. I can easily replace these instances with something more preferable to Joe, as that would be preferable to bear too
I write much, a lot of writing each day, relatively speaking, so your help works out to be help I can use, experiment on, currently. It may take hold -- the help may take hold -- in time (or it may fade away) as the World Turns.
"It is like an education. You buy a book, and with your time spent reading it carefully, you hope to help make life much richer....like the Bible I suppose, there are very valuable things in the Bible."
That works best, it actually adds the idea that your influence works on me, and not in a small way, but a way that is mysterious, unknown, or not easy to believe.
Thanks again.