View single post by Joe Kelley
 Posted: Wed Jul 3rd, 2013 04:31 am
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Joe Kelley

 

Joined: Mon Nov 21st, 2005
Location: California USA
Posts: 6399
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7/2/13 page 80

bear,

I think you are doing the fine work that is required to make a book worth reading.

I am following along on the improvements, and I found a possible additional improvement in this:

To me, this falls again into the category of two different worlds where you and I are targets because we produce more than we consume. That is uncontroversial if there is a net sheet known as the Federal Tax "Liabilities" and our world is driven by equitable thoughts and actions: The Golden Rule, morality, spirituality (whatever word works best in any case in this type of productive world).

To be more precise there is a problem I see here:

That is uncontroversial if there is a net sheet known as the Federal Tax "Liabilities" and <------------- here

It could be disconnected further so as not to confuse.

Such as:

To me, this falls again into the category of two different worlds where you and I are targets because we produce more than we consume. That "debt" based world is uncontroversial since there is a net sheet known as the Federal Tax "Liabilities" proving the fact. Our productive world, on the other hand, is driven by equitable thoughts and actions: The Golden Rule, morality, spirituality (whatever word works best in any case in this type of productive world).

It could be arranged better, but I think that there was a problem with the flow of perspective when the two worlds collided in the sentence.