View single post by bear
 Posted: Wed Jun 26th, 2013 06:04 pm
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bear

 

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Joe, it is almost 5 now and I have been home for about 30 minutes today. I was not able to work as much on editing as I had wished. Here is what I have completed thus far:

I still have a little more than a page to edit. I will continue unless I hear differently. But I am going to rest abit now and I have church tonight.


First paragraph:
Added comma between: fast & but.
Started new sentence after: their pay instead
(I did this because the sentence is transitioning from a statement to a question.)
Started new sentence/removed: And

New Separated 2nd Paragraph:
Started a new paragraph: after liars (I did this to focus on the question that is asked I am assuming that the question you are referring to is the question following the statement, not the questions preceding the statement.)
Added colon: between alone & how (Also capitalized How)
Removed comma between: lies & and (because the comma is only needed in a list or between two independent clauses)
Italicized: we & we the people (for emphasis)
Replace comma with ellipse between: sun & who

3rd Paragraph:
Changed word from: done to perpetrated (just because I didn’t think done sounded good.)

4th Paragraph:
No Changes

5th Paragraph:
Removed comma between: liars & in (this is an essential clause see http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/566/1/ )
Removed 3 commas and replaced with: Parenthesis & dash
SOMETHING FOR YOU TO CONSIDER IN PHRASE: all crimes made legal (Consider removing the word all, since all may or may not be able to be quantified as 100%.)
Removed words: when all that (to help sentence flow)
Replaced comma with question mark between: out & what (Started new sentence and capitalized: What)
Replaced question mark with colon between: Next & What
Replaced colon with period between: effort & then (Started new sentence and capitalized Then)

6th Paragraph:
Added WITH between: sing & the
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Content with edits included:

Pending Collapse or Golden Opportunity?

News travels fast, but propaganda travels faster when the criminals take over. Such is our fate when Liberty is forsaken, dropped like an old shoe, in favor of investments in lies. When the liars who invent the best lies are given the opportunity to fix their own pay rate, they don’t, they raise their pay instead. How well does that work, and what can be expected from liars?

So the question is asked, and not by me alone: How much longer can the investors in lies and the investors in wars that are so good for the economy…how much longer can we, you know we, how much longer can we the people afford to keep on giving while the measurable benefits dry up, as the supply of ready victims are merely corpses rotting in the sun…who is going to be left to do the actual work?

What happens when the supply of frauds, robbers, pedophiles, rapists, kidnappers, slave masters, extortionists, drug pushers, torturers, serial killers, and war makers (for fun and profit, all made legal) reaches that condition of oversupply? When is it enough? When is it no longer beneficial to pay those high rates for all that crime perpetrated by those in office? When do we no longer get paid anything in return?

What happens after the fall?

What happens when the demand for very high paid liars in public office (hired to cover up all the other crimes - all crimes made legal) peters out? What happens next: when this process reaches that point of collapse, when the inevitable result of the law of diminishing returns takes hold, and that beast won’t let go without an inspired return to a demand for honest effort. Then what? Do we demand more of the same in a different suit, with a different flag, and another color of fraud money?

Do we get a new song to sing with the same old tune?
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