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Sorry for taking so long to respond. Joe keeps me busy.
Your example of the car in the driveway is helpful. The key item to notice is that you have “left” the van. You now can no longer perceive it. You are no longer in the vicinity where you can see, hear, smell, taste ( not that you would want to ) or touch. Your mind cannot bear witness to it. You can deduce that it remains in the driveway based on previous experience, reasoning and logic but that is all. O K so far?
So, what do I mean? Let me explain with a story.
One warm, sunny Sunday in spring I decided to ride my bicycle to my brother's house 18 miles away. The ride is not difficult as the way is flat and the few hills encountered are quite small. Half of the journey is along a paved bicycle path which threads its way through a patch of woods that are part of a nearby state park and, upon leaving the woods, continues on in a near perfect straight line for several miles along the boundry of a golf course and some preserved farmland. I look forward to these rides.
I packed a water bottle, cell phone, some sun screen and a few snacks, went outside, unloaded my bicycle from my van and, with spirits high, began pedaling to my brother's house.
Five miles into the trip, due to my own inattentiveness, I narrowly avoided running over a large, pointed stone with my front wheel. The rear tire hit the stone and with a thump traveled up and over the rock. As I was thanking my lucky stars for having averted a painful case of road rash I heard the hiss of air leaking fast and, sure enough, within another ten feet my rear tire was completely flat. The damage to the tube was too extensive to repair so I used the cell phone to call home.
My wife, Kathy, answered.
“Hello.”
“Hi, it's me. Listen. I got a flat. Can you get in the van and come and pick me up? I'm on the road by the reservoir.”
“But, honey, I just got back from taking the garbage out to the dumpster and your van isn't here. I thought, maybe, you drove to the head of the bike trail so I didn't think anything of it.”
“What do you mean its not there? It has to be.”
“Well, it isn't.”
As director I know cry out, “Cut!”
It is at precisely this moment in the story that what I mean happens.
Kathy and I disagree. Our reason, our logic and the sequence of events we have witnessed has led us to two separate and opposite conclusions. Furthermore, because we have the potentially serious situation of the missing van we cannot simply agree to disagree, end the conversation and ignore the discrepancy. So what do we do?
“We allow that whenever two perceptions of truth exist neither must be right so we must continue in our earnestness and honesty to explore together.”
In other words, we each decide that there must be something wrong with our own conclusions of the whereabouts of the van. So, in earnest and with honesty we reevaluate.
There was silence on the phone. I moved the cellphone to my left ear and tilted my head so as to wedge the phone between my ear and shoulder so that my hands were free. I began frantically searching my pockets for the key to the van. Maybe someone stole it, I thought to myself. I found the key. Not likely. I was searching for other possibilities.
My wife, meanwhile took an even bigger step. She doubted her very senses.
“Maybe I just overlooked it,” She said.
Unlike those unanswerable questions by which the inquisitive mind of human beings is constantly plagued in his quest to find meaning to his or her existence, whether or not the van is there can be easily ascertained.
“Hang on a second, let me look again. Oh, it is there. You parked in a different parking spot. I must have seen the empty space where you usually park and figured you took it.”
“Phew, you had me scared for a second.”
“Me, too. I'll be by to pick you up in 15 minutes”
Does this help?
All I ever ask of anyone is that they allow that there is another possibility. A small speck of doubt until a consensus is reached. They don't have to change their mind. I regard anyone who professes to know the absolute truth, who will not allow that other possibilities exist, as dangerous. I was a pious christian once many, many years ago. One of the reasons I became apostate with regard to Christianity was their intolerance for another person's religious beliefs. And I am not suggesting that you are one of them. But I do know how important it is to the foundation of the christian belief that it is the one truth. Yet I am certain that should there be a true day of reckoning and you were before god to be judged he would give you a hug and say, It's ok that you were unsure. I created you that way. You loved unconditionally and that is what mattered most. Welcome to the fold.